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Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month-- a conversation with Lara Wilson

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month-- a conversation with Lara Wilson

Tell us a little about yourself and your sweet family.

"My name is Lara Wilson, I grew up here in Mapleton, Utah. I met my husband when I was 18. We got married a few years later and both wanted kids immediately, so we started our family! Our journey of having kids had lots of bumps. Miscarriages in between every successful pregnancy, and then losing our sweet Sonny... definitely threw us. Was the hardest time in both of our lives. We fought so hard for him despite advice some doctors gave to terminate. We knew we needed to meet him. We got 2 weeks with him before he passed, and it changed our lives, and our kids lives forever. He was such a sweet baby. 

We lost Sonny right before Covid hit, so that year was brutal. We all had to do, and continue to do, a lot of work on ourselves to heal. We decided to try for another baby, and miscarried again. Life felt very discouraging, to put it lightly... but I knew we had to push through. We got pregnant again. (My 7th pregnancy), and I’m now 36 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby boy. He will join us any time now, and has already been such a healing power in our family. I can’t imagine the peace he will bring to our home once he is born."

Do you have any advice for other mamas+parents walking through the loss of a child?

"Advice I would give to those walking through the loss of a child, is just to let yourself feel the hard feelings. I blocked a lot of emotions out, and in the long run, all that did was make my healing journey harder. Feel angry, feel sad, feel happy. Ask for help and let people help you. It’s all anyone wants to do."


What was the most meaningful support you received from those in your circle? 

"Me and my family received an endless amount of support. We still are over a year later. What meant the most to me was people stepping up and just doing something. So many ask, “what can I do?” It was those that just DID something that meant the world. It’s hard to ask for things and sometimes we don’t know what we need. So the people that made an effort, I will never forget. Send groceries, deliver a note, flowers, give a really good hug, take the older kids out for a fun day, offer to talk on the phone, etc."

I know your older boys were so excited for a new brother—how do you talk about Sonny with them?

"My two boys were SO excited to have a little brother. The passing of Sonny was devastating to us all, but it’s amazing to watch them at age 5 and 7... these boys handled the situation so maturely. They comforted me, and honestly saved me. We talk about Sonny almost every single day. We visit the cemetery, they draw pictures of him and talk about how excited they are to see him again one day. We even celebrated his birthday as a family, and made the day as uplifting as we could. We know that’s what Sonny would want!"

How have you allowed yourself the time to grieve Sonny, while holding space for the joy of a new babe?

"Grieving Sonny while being pregnant with another baby boy has been difficult. I’ve had all the emotions, of happiness to guilt. The thing that I keep coming back to that makes me happy, is the feeling that Sonny and this baby know each other. They’re both happy, and rooting for our family. They want us to heal. I’ve done a lot of energy therapy and work on myself to really allow myself to be happy again. It’s been a beautiful journey, and honestly something I think I needed to learn in this life."

What things are bringing you happiness in this season?

"There is so much bringing me happiness in this Season of life. My eyes have been opened to the fragile state we all live in. Losing a child makes me appreciate my family more, slow down, and look at the bigger picture. It’s tested my physical, emotional and spiritual health and has made me stronger. I’ve seen how resilient we are as humans, and I’ve been blessed with empathy for others who have to endure such a tragic trial. It tested and strengthened my marriage and my relationship with my boys, and brought me closer to some amazing new friends who bring me so much happiness!"

Anything else you would like to add about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month?

"I was never aware how common infant loss was, before the past few years, and it’s a horrible thing. It’s truly the most shattering thing as a mother. But women have such a power to bond together, if we choose, and can pull each other up out of some dark places. Becoming a part of the child loss community has shown me just how amazing women are, and just how important it is to stand together."

We are so grateful to Larafor her strength and vulnerability in sharing her heart. You can see more of her story {and her beautiful family} on her Instagram HERE.